Tag Archives: Happiness

The Debilitating Weight of Choice

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While it is difficult to define happiness, it is quite easy to recognize when we are happy or unhappy. And lots of people are very unhappy nowadays. Not merely unhappy, but profoundly, chronically unhappy. You hardly need scientific data to tell you that, but studies do confirm that Americans are the unhappiest they have been in 50 years (see here).

When we think about trends in America, we often jump back to the 1950’s for before-and-after contrasts and comparisons. Aside from some nostalgic allure, life in the 2020’s is objectively far better than it was in the 1950’s. At first glance we credit technology for improving our quality of life. But while technological advances have been stunning, those technologies have largely resulted in vastly greater levels of information and choice.

Today, thanks to information technologies, we have fast and easy access to fantastically more information than our grandparents did in the 1950’s. At the same time, that explosion of information, along with other social and technological changes, has dramatically expanded the range and number of choices both known to us and available to us.

Relatively scant information was knowable or even discoverable until relatively recently. You could not just look up anything and everything on the Internet. I have only recently discovered basic information that was effectively unknowable for most of my lifetime. Today there is very little that we cannot know, or at least get opinions about, with the few clicks of a mouse.

And amongst all that information, is information about our choices. Not only information making us aware of all our choices, but endless detail, advice, and opinions about those options to help us choose between them.

We may be desensitized to it, but today we enjoy vastly wider choices in foods, in clothing, in entertainment, in our hair color, in social media, an so on and on. We have immense choice not only in consumer goods, but in our life choices. We have far more choices to make about jobs and employers, where to live, where to visit, in our religious affiliation, our political allegiance, and most every aspect of our lives, large and small.

That was not true in the 1950’s. No comparison. You largely went to your local school, lived your entire life in your town of birth, got married to a classmate, had children, got a job at the local company where everyone else got a job, read your local paper each night after meat and potatoes, retired, and hosted holidays for your clan. That was pretty much all you knew and few of your life-paths could be called choices. Our biggest decisions were whether to smoke Marlboro or Camels.

So with both information and choice being so obviously fundamental to our personal and collective happiness, how can it be that we are so increasingly unhappy, both personally and collectively?

I propose that the reason is, in part, too much information about too many choices.

A little of most anything is almost always good but too much of most anything is almost always bad. While a little sunlight is needed to illuminate the darkness, and a little more may disinfect, but too much blinds and even burns. I submit that today we are unhappy, in large part, because we are drowning in information and paralyzed by choice. Further, the two of these in combination multiply and compound the problem.

Too much choice can make people crazy. Psychologist Barry Schwartz talked about the harmful consequences of too much choice in his book, “The Paradox of Choice.” Which product should I buy? Which path should I choose? What will that say about me? What if it’s not the best choice? What if I had chosen something else? What have I missed out on in life because of my choices? Why do I have to even choose? I want it all!

Today we are confronted daily by immeasurably more choices. But it isn’t just that we have choices, as if they were merely nice options. Rather, the only choice you don’t have is not to choose. You have to choose everything. And in making those choices, you are expected to read every review and scrutinize every detail of every choice, large or small. And after having chosen, you have to deal with all the scrutiny and second-guessing from yourself and others. Did I choose the best option? Maybe I should have chosen that other option.

When we are forced to make choices about practically everything, from trivial to life-defining, choice goes from being empowering to onerously debilitating. We are confronted by information and choice in every little thing we try to do. Do you want to make that burrito a supreme? Would you like that Jalapeno spicy? Would you care to round up for charity? It goes on and on in everything we do, both explicitly and implicitly.

It makes us want to scream, “I just want a damn burrito!”

This paradox of choice is exasperated by our abundance of information. Not only do we have to choose everything, but we are aware of every opposing argument, every bit of data, every opinion. Like choice, information about anything and everything is everywhere. And like choice, it isn’t merely there if we want it. Everyone seems determined, like it or not, to fully inform us about everything to ensure that we are happy.

It’s like that with all our plethora of choices and all the information that both informs and drowns us in opportunities taken and not taken. And at every possible opportunity, other people, amplified by the media and the Internet, are constantly informing us of our choices and demanding we become better informed and choose wisely so that we can become happier than we are. But don’t choose wrong!

The cumulative effect of all that information about all those choices is the opposite of what we might hope and expect. Untaken possibilities and choices can become untold sources of hesitation, angst, self-doubt, and regret.

Too much information creates unhappiness in other ways. How can anyone enjoy any entertainment choice today, or any activity at all, when they are confronted with a million voices all telling them they should like it or they should hate it or pick apart every little detail until the entire experience is just too laden with choice and information and flaws and criticisms to have any hope of just enjoying it.

Obviously I’m not suggesting reverting to the scant information and limited choices of the 1950’s. But I do want to point out that while information and choice in moderation are required for happiness, in excess they can and are making us very unhappy indeed.

In the 1950’s we had to actively seek out information and choice to become a fuller person. But today we have to actively insulate ourselves from too much information and too many choices if we are to remain sane and happy.

Start by just being aware of the negative effects of information and choice overload. Merely understanding their combined and cumulative effect can diminish it. Consciously pay a little less attention to extraneous information and try to fret less about your choices. Strive to find that sweet spot at which information and choice help you to become a happier person and a better citizen without succumbing under the debilitating weight of information and choice overload.

Studies Show That…

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One of the most compelling arguments in support of religion is the totally pragmatic one. What does it matter if religion is false, if god is totally made up, if faith is only a placebo effect, or even if it’s all ultimately just a scam to separate you from your hard-earned money? In the end isn’t all that matters that it makes you happier and more successful?

Reporters and opinion writers propagate this pragmatic justification of religion every day. It is actually difficult to get through any newspaper issue without encountering yet another article or op-ed touting the benefits of religion and faith. Here is an example of the typical kind of happiness claims put out there most every day in popular media:

Research suggests that children who attend church perform better in school, divorce less as adults and commit fewer crimes. Regular church attendees even exhibit less racial prejudice than their nonreligious peers. (see here).

happinessThese articles invariably cite scientific studies and statistics to support their claims. But those claims frequently go far beyond study design or the conclusions made by the scientists involved.

There are many ways that studies are misused by advocates to advance their causes or market their products. So we must all be very savvy when we see broad, sweeping conclusions being supported by narrow scientific studies, particularly by social science studies.

To help you to recognize these manipulations, following are some of the typical falsehoods and distortions used by advocates to misrepresent science or to promote bad science.

Failing to Mention the Negatives
Studies show that chocolate supplies 11 grams of fiber! Wow, maybe we should all eat chocolate to get our fiber! But to get that 11 grams of fiber from chocolate you have to consume a whopping 600 calories. Likewise, studies tout selected admirable ethical qualities of religious people, but fail to mention other studies that show, for example, that religious people are far more likely to support torture, guns, violence, and drone attacks.

Failing to Mention Better Alternatives
Another way advocates misuse studies is by failing to mention far better alternatives. For example, the chocolate industry fails to mention that practically any fruit, vegetable, or grain is a far healthier source of fiber. That may not be their responsibility, but if they are implying that you should eat chocolate in order to get your fiber, they are lying. Likewise, advocates often tout the morality of religious people, implying that religion is the only way to achieve these values. But you don’t need to consume 600 calories to get your fiber and you do not need religion along with all its negative characteristics to be a good person.

Failing to Quantify the Benefits
Advocates will often claim a benefit without quantifying it, thereby giving a false impression of how important it is. For example, religion advocates may cite studies showing that fewer religious people go to prison, without mentioning that this difference is inconsequentially tiny.

Misrepresenting Statistics
Advocates often misrepresent statistics. If they are trying to magnify a small difference they report it as a percentage or ratio. If they are trying to exaggerate a tiny difference in a huge population, they cite the numerical difference.  For example, religion advocates might claim that “secular people are twice as likely to commit suicide as religious ones.” Sounds fantastic right? But this could very well mean that out of a population of 10,000 people, 1 religious person committed suicide and 2 non-religious people committed suicide. Not quite as alarmingly persuasive when presented that way.

Using Bad Indicators
In epidemiology, an indicator is a specific test that can be used to measure a more general condition. But a bad indicator tells one little or nothing about the general trait being evaluated. For example, religious advocates typically conclude that believers are “happier” based upon highly questionable measurements such as divorce rate which have little to do with happiness. As we all know, married people can be far more miserable than divorced ones.

Failing to Prove Causation
Most clinical studies are observational, or association studies. That is, they simply show that two variables are both observed in or associated with a given population. This is valuable information. But proving that those two variables are directly related to each other is quite difficult. Proving causality between one and the other is even more difficult. Even if two things seem to be related, they may be indirectly associated through some third thing called a confounding factor. For example, a study may show that church-goers cheat less on their spouses. That is merely an association. But advocates use that observed association to claim that church attendance promotes ethical behavior even though the researchers themselves never made that claim. However, it may well be that church attendance and marital fidelity are not directly related at all, let alone that church attendance causes fidelity as advocates claim. The most we could say based on the research is that, for whatever reason, people who go to church are also more likely to be people who have fewer affairs. Maybe the reality is that unattractive people tend to go to church in a desperate and futile attempt to start an affair. Attractiveness may the just one confounding factor here. That we cannot determine or even imagine what the confounding factors may be is not proof of causality.

Failing to Consider Reporting Bias
Many of the narrow social studies used to make sweeping claims rely upon self-reporting. However, self-reporting is incredibly unreliable. People intentionally or unintentionally report all kinds of things in all kinds of ways for all kinds of reasons. For example, men are likely to brag about their infidelity while women are likely to conceal it. Self-reports are poor measures of the relative level of infidelity between the sexes. Likewise, religious people are deeply invested in the fiction that religion makes them happier and are very likely to report that they are even if they are totally miserable.

Failure to Mention Study Limitations
Years ago, upon reading commonly cited statistics that “98% of women report incidents of sexual abuse,” radio host Dr. Laura Schlessigner did what a good consumer of information should do. On-air, she called the scientist who conducted the study being referenced to support this claim. The researcher was eager to express her frustration with all of the advocacy groups citing her research without mentioning that her study narrowly targeted an extremely at-risk population. Dr. Laura then called the head of one of those women’s advocacy groups employing this scare-tactic and asked her why she knowingly misrepresented this research. When confronted, the head of the organization stood firm, saying that anything is justified if it raises awareness of real issues faced by women.

Choosing the Wrong Measurement
Even if we could measure happiness, it should not be assumed that happiness is the best or only goal. Believing that  global warming is a hoax probably does make one sleep sounder. Allowing your kids to eat pizza at every meal will probably result in fewer observed food-related tantrums. But clearly these measures of happiness do not justify accepting those positions. Likewise with religion.

Selective Skepticism
We tend to do pretty good at being skeptical about things we disagree with. But when it’s something we’re predispositioned to like and want, like chocolate or religion, we tend to set all skepticism aside and whole-heartedly embrace any arguments in favor, no matter how much of a stretch they may be. The happiness-arguments supporting religion are definitely one area in which our society demonstrates far too little critical scrutiny, as evidenced by the huge number of happiness claims repeated in major publications with virtually no skeptical analysis.

Baby With the Bath Water
Please, please, please don’t conclude from this that you can never trust social studies and that these studies never have any value at all. Association studies are very valuable. We need to know when things are observed together in a given population. However, you should be a smart consumer of these studies and understand the ways that advocates misuse study results to contrive claims that advance their cause. This is particularly important when we are predisposed to believe those claims. When in doubt, look past the claims made by advocates or even by seemingly objective “science reporters” and read the typically more careful and restrained conclusions reported by the scientists who conducted the studies. With the Internet at our fingertips today that is not usually very difficult to do.

If Only I Had a Photographic Memory!

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Few of us probably remember the 1968 B-film cult classic Barbarella. In that fantasy story the naively buxom Barbarella battled the sadistic Durand-Durand and the evilly beautiful Dark Tyrant. One notable character in this sex romp was the blind angel Pygar. The white-winged angel befriends Barbarella but is then kidnapped and cruelly tortured by the Dark Tyrant.

pygarIn the climax of the film, with the city exploding around them, Pygar swoops down and rescues both Barbarella and the Dark Tyrant, flying off with one woman in each arm. Barbarella looks up at his angelic face, confused, and says “Pygar, why did you save her, after all the terrible things she did to you?” Pygar answers serenely, “Angels have no memory.”

It’s an interesting thought. Angels have no memory. Perhaps only without memory can one really be an angel. Perhaps memory makes us just too bitter, too angry, to resentful, too hurt to be truly forgiving. Perhaps it just isn’t possible to remember every hurt one caused you and still fully forgive them. Perhaps those memories must be sacrificed to gain your wings.

There is data to support this premise.  Researches have looked at individuals on both extremes of memory. They have studied those rare individuals who have no long-term memory – who cannot recall anything beyond very recent events. They have compared those individuals to those equally rare individuals with nearly perfect recall, people who can exactly remember almost every incident, no matter how unremarkable, that they ever experienced.

When you compare these two groups, you see clear differences. Those with impaired long-term memory tend to be quite happy and contented while those with exceptional long-term memory tend to be quite unhappy, depressed, angry, and even suicidal. Apparently, having perfect memory takes its toll. One cannot forget every slight, every insult, every disappointment, and every disillusionment. Such unselective memories make one quite unhappy. Not having memories can be a blessing.

On the other hand, those with perfect memories tend to be excellent networkers. They recall every birthday, every anniversary, and every name. So they tend to have lots of social support that can offset their hurtful memories. Those with poor memories on the other hand tend to have few social contact and fewer friends. The cost of happiness may be loneliness and the loss of social connectivity. Are they then still happy? Kind of a sad internal contradiction.

Don’t hire an angel to become your salesperson and don’t expect them to win celebrity Jeopardy.

Thankfully most of us aren’t angels with no memory and we aren’t elephants who never forget a slight and stomp their trainer into a bloody pulp years later. We lie in the broad middle of the spectrum. I am certainly no angel but I think I lie off toward the bad memory end of the continuum. I have a terrible memory but am pretty free from regrets and grudges. But I’m also quite bad at social networking as I am hopeless at remembering things, let alone birthdays and anniversaries. I’ve wisely perhaps stayed away from professions that rely upon memory and entered instead into a career where things change quickly, where continually looking up current information is an advantage.

Many of us imagine that perfect memory would be kind of a cool superpower but that such recall is just not really possible. But it is clearly possible and evolution is wise enough not to give us what we think we want. Sometimes less is better. We could have much better smell or hearing or taste, for example, and some people do and it makes them painfully miserable. Longer lifespans are apparently possible as well, but evolution knows that longer lifespans are not actually a good thing for the individual or for the species.

Evolution has given us the balance of memory we need to make us both functional and happy. If technology eventually lets us override evolution on this, we may regret being burdened with all those painful best-forgotten memories.